Wednesday, July 1, 2015

Three Years...

Larkspur (Delphinium):  July Birth Flower
Three years have passed since we lost our twin sons, Liam & Colin.  While time continues to move forward, day by day, hour by hour, and even by the leap second, July 1st will always be a day that time stands still.  Where I feel like I'm trudging through deep, wet, sand, trying to remind myself to "breathe".  Many would think that in three years, the pain would be lessened...that with time, things wouldn't feel so raw.  In some ways, that is true, but in other ways, it's still very much a vivid memory of the day my boys were born and passed away too soon.

Three years...we've moved twice, we've undergone numerous fertility treatments without success, we've continued to move forward in a world without our sons.  Always thinking about what our lives would be like if they were alive today.  Always missing them.  Always remembering.

My husband and I weren't sure what we would do to commemorate this day.  I got up and cooked a big breakfast for us.  Then we drove to one of our favorite local metro parks and went for a hike.  We've always found comfort in hiking through the woods.  Taking time to take pictures of even the smallest creatures, like dragonflies and even slugs, makes us smile.  

Wildflowers in the woods

After our long walk, we stopped off for a quick lunch, then proceeded to a local nursery to look for plants for our yard.  Our wedding anniversary was last month, and I was promised a flower of my choice for the yard.  With all the rain lately, we weren't able to get out and get one, so we chose a flower that is both for our anniversary and for our boys, a Twist & Shout Hydrangea.

Butterfly on a butterfly bush at the nursery
Bees enjoying the coneflowers at the nursery

After all the rain, the ground was easy to break and we planted our new hydrangea.  


I also wanted a memorial stone for the flower bed we are working on, and though I had plans to make one myself, I found the perfect stone at the nursery.  It was just there, and when I saw it, I knew it was the one for our yard.